Hi Kettle...Pot Here...You're Black.

Dating is mired with double-standards. Do as I say not as I do'isms. Flirting is not "flirting" when it's you who innocently chatted up some random,inadvertently sharing dirty jokes with him at the bar. But heaven have mercy if some gal bats her eyelashes within a mile of your man or some jerkoff has the nerve to buy a Duck Fart for your lady; faces flare red as blood boils and steam comes out the ears, head nearing combustion.

My personal get-the-hackles-up grievance of the moment is the female-focused misanthrope, who tosses a good ol' double scoop of double standards onto the fairer sex. And by "fairer" I don't mean more socially just, because it's often other women who are the first to persecute their own sex. Classic case of mindlessly swallowing the Adam and Eve parable, where by "that woman", with one fell swoop, ruined man's life.

In dating it's an annoyance, but in marriage it takes on a whole other realm of unpalatable. Take this example: married man engages outside of his marriage with a single lass in flirtatious conversation. So who bares the scarlet letter? Well, it doesn't go well with his sports jacket so we're gonna go with option number two, Bob. Who incidentally isn't the one who made the vow of monogamy. But, after all, he has a penis and was drinking. For those of you who failed math, let me map out the mathematically proven equation for you: (Penis + drink x uncontrollable lust)+ attractive female = Homewreckin' Harlot (also know by Santana as "Black Magic Woman").

My favorite regurgitated line is "Well, he didn't really want to get married to begin with". OH! I forgot about the finely printed infidelity due to unhappiness clause at the bottom of the marriage contract.

If I hear one more friend padding their male friend's/partner's behavior with another lame ass excuse relinquishing him of personal responsibility, I think I'll feed myself that tempting poison apple. After all, I'm a woman. I have a whole bushel of 'em.